Someday you are going to own a house.

Unless you are rich, you are going to have a mortgage. You will refinance that mortgage when rates drop and your father-in-law tells you to.

The notary will come to your house for you to sign an insane number of documents.

They will tell you—not once, but twice—to only sign at the bottom of this particular form about cancellation.

“Do NOT sign in the middle! Signing in the middle means you want to cancel the agreement.”

You will accidentally sign in the middle.

The notary will not have a backup.

You will offer to let them print the page on your printer.

You only have 8½ x 11 inch paper. Letter size.

The document must be printed on 8½ x 14 inch paper. Legal size.

You will search the house. You don’t have any legal size paper. You are not a lawyer.

Your spouse will give you a dirty look.

Your notary will give you a dirty look.

You will agree to drive to the Sunnyvale Fedex Print and Ship Center (fka Kinko’s) for the notary to print out another copy on 8½ x 14 inch paper. The notary will mistakenly go to the Kinko’s in Mountain View. They will call you while you are waiting in Sunnyvale. You will have to drive 20 minutes through traffic to Mountain View.

Finally, after adding nearly two hours to the process, you will sign and be done.

Or, you could have had a ream of 8½ x 14 paper at your home just in case.